I’ve had my eyes on these for awhile, and I think it’s about time I get them. Jeffrey Campbell, I love you. Metallic, wedge, tassle, back lace. Get on my teencey toes now, please. Jeffy’s Zealous in Bronze is what I want. Like, now. I’m jealous of anyone who has these Zealous wedgies. I would ask to borrow them, but your feet are probably not as clean as mine.
bff, blonde, grammy, grammy's, kelly osbourne, lady gaga, miley cyrus, new york, nicki, nicki minaj, platinum, platinum blonde, platinum hair, queens, red carpet, roman, salvia, would you be my friend if, WYBMFI
I did a rendition of Nicki’s Roman performance at the Grammy’s?
I just didn’t get it. But she definitely felt pretty, and needs to take her medication. What about her red carpet outfit?
I mean, I guess I’d be her friend because she seemed really cool until Sunday night, but if I were Lady Gaga she’d be on my enemy list. Cool matching white platinum hair and outrageously strange outfits. But thanks for not arriving in an egg.
Nicki, I miss your colored locks and tight jumpsuits that accentuated your Queens booty. I’d be your friend a few months ago. Didn’t your mother ever tell you that your hair’s the wrong shade when it is equal to or lighter than your skin? You’re kinda dark so I think white is the wrong shade. Jealous, I’d never be allowed to go platinum blonde. But thanks for not going gray like Kelly Osbourne.
Then again, she’s BFF with Miley Cyrus. Can you say, “salvia?”
Well the day has come again – February 14th. The most exciting day of the year, or the most dreaded. A legally recognized day devoted to love. In my past, that love would be chocolate, not humans. I don’t really like people. Hence my blog. But for others, that love can be a boyfriend/girlfriend, a family member, a pet, a friend, or for you loners, yourself. VDay love can be for anyone, and I think it’s time we revolutionize the holiday and make it an appreciation day for those we care about.
Which could be yourself. This ecard is true for some. Those are the ones who are alone this year. Sorry, but it’s true. Send yourself some flowers, you’ll feel better.
Or you can have a glass of champagne and share a romantic dinner with all three of the Jo Bros – Kevin, Joe, and what was the Diabetic’s name? I think they’re all of age now, right? Are they still virgins? Who cares, it’s just a poster. I can’t even remember the Jo Bros songs after that Disney Channel Movie “Camp Rock.” This should never happen in real life. Go see “The Vow” or something and cry alone in the back of the theater. It’s better than worshipping these Jersey Shore wannabes.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to be alone on Valentine’s Day! Just call up a few friends and make it a party, whether that be same-sex or mixed. As long as drinks are there all your loveless sorrows will melt away. Still not feeling it? Maybe buy yourself a puppy if you really need some unconditional love. OMG look at his face.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that VDay should just be a day of love for all. Make Dior Not War. Spread the pink and red and flowers and candies and stuffed animals. Everyone should feel loved today.
For all you couples out there, snuggle up next to your cutie and share some eskimo kisses. And for all you single ladies, take some pink shots, whip your hair back and forth, and buy yourself a Valentine’s Day present. It’ll be worth it.
Austin Powers, Ben Greenstein, blonde babe, Brian Greenberg, Cher, Clueless, Converse, diva chic, edgy, Exo, Fook Mi Fook Yu, How to Make it in America, jean shorts, Jeffrey Campbell, knee highs, leather, Lower East Side, Megan Fox, NYC, plaid skirts, Shia LaBeouf, shop nasty gal, Transformers, trendy
No, I’m not talking about slutty schoolgirl over-the-knee socks with teency plaid skirts. I’m not talking about Fook Mi and Fook Yu. Twins, Bazzle! But no, that’s not what I mean. Fook Mi and Fook Yu are a classic example of knee highs gone slutty, AKA wrong. Keep reading for edgy, trendy, borderline hipster but still super-cool-but-not-nerdy ways to rock the knee high. Your mom will not call you a hooker, I promise. Unless you live with an extremely religious Mormon or nun. Sorry if this offended you. I urge you to read on.
First way to rock the knee high? Classy and 90’s chic. Need inspiration? Just turn to Cher. You don’t think she looks cute? AS IF! Her high tech 1995 closet picked out her outfit for her, socks and all. Soak it in. You’ll never be as cool, rich, or popular she Cher was in high school. You’re just like, SO clueless.
Okay, fine. You’re not into those metallic silver Mary Jane flats? Whatever. Let’s move on.
Next option: daytime knee high. Pair your darker knee highs with some vintage cut off jean shorts to look instantly cool, calm, collected, and borderline Shop Nasty Gal chic.
Throw on a slouchy sweater and a big bag to complete the look. Maybe even forget to wash or brush your hair to look extra Lower-East-Side Fabulous. Who knows, you could be the next fashionista in the Village. So “How to Make it in America”-esque. RIP Ben Greenstein.
Okay, now shoes. Take those dark knee highs and throw on a pair of chunky wedges of the same color. Check out how Megan Fox does it. She’s a little more casual, but still… She got to kiss Shia while fighting evil robot alien transformers. Rude. But so hot.
Want to take your extra long socks from day to night? I found this super tall blonde babe lookin’ hot on the streets of NYC with two options.
First: black knee highs with converse and a jean jacket, and an edgy backpack. Ugh that hat. She’s cool. Who is she? Definitely not on her way to school though.
Second: Swap out the Converse for some black chunky wedges, the jean jacket for a leather one, and the backpack for a purse. Keep the slouchy hat, throw on some dark liquid eyeliner and you’re ready to go. If it’s cold out, put on some sheer black tights underneath your knee highs to stay warm, look dressier, and take it to the next level of diva chic.
And to end on an extra special idea, grab some printed knee highs like these ones and wear a shoe that matches. Jeffrey Campbell shoes are definitely the best chunky, comfy shoe around and go to knee highs like the Kardashians to black guys.
Scared this look is just not for you? I swear normal people not from NYC or LA do it. I wore it to Exo (ha, trashy) and got so many compliments. Try it out. Just make sure I’m not wearing mine the same night…
Everyone say hi to Leora AKA Lala.
Aquamarine, Cee Lo Green, channing, channing tatum, Coco, Crazy, cuba gooding, Cuba Gooding Jr, female wrestlers, Friday Flav, gf, GF rice krispies, gluten free, hot, Ice Loves Coco, Ice-T, Kenan, Kenan and Kel, Khloe & Lamar, Khloe Kardashian, kim kardashian, Lamar Odom, lobster claws, Monmouth, Monmouth Duo, SNL, Snow Dogs, sorry kim, St. Louis Weather, the low down, white teeth
It’s Friday and the sky has been peeing for the past few hours. St. Louis weather kills me. Like, just decide if it’s winter or spring. I wore a t-shirt to class last week, and now I feel like one of the snow dogs from that Disney movie with Cuba Gooding Jr., “Snow Dogs.” So convenient. This puppy is so cold and fierce. If only my eyes were aquamarine. (Secretly love the movie Aquamarine. If you know what that is, be my friend.)
Well, at least there’s a Khloe & Lamar marathon on today. Kisses. Lamar is a chocolate dipped pretzel rod with the education of a chocolate dipped pretzel rod, and Khloe is a badass ball of deep-fried Armenian falafel. So delish. Look at this picture and imagine Lamar as a chocolate covered pretzel rod and Khloe as a piece of falafel. It’s so true.
At least they’re not a bulldog like Ice-T or a female wrestler like Coco. Baby got back. (Sorry, Kim K.)
There was just a commercial of Cee Lo Green promoting Vegas. He’s actually all the rave right now with his short lobster claws for hands and blinding white teeth. He always looks out of breath. I actually feel my arteries clogging up when I watch him try to perform. Does that make me crazy? Maybe I’m crazy.
Julia (hi!) sent me the best description of Cee Lo ever – he’s a bald chocolate gummy bear. Unreal. Thanks Kenan. I miss Kel, but you’re doing great. Chocolate Gummy Nugget Lobster Man (Hi Channing, yum).
What a diva celeb-studded post. Friday flav.
The thought of Cee Lo is making me hungry. Where are my GF Rice Krispies (Zucker, you get me).
Happy Friday. Monmouth Duo tonight, have to rest up. Bring your A game.
Sipping on a plastic bottle of Pellegrino in the state of Misery Missouri, I remembered why I love drinking the sparkling mineral water. It’s so Diva Chic. Actually though. It’s been awhile, but Pellegrino teamed up with Missoni and Bvlgari to create a beautifully branded bottle.
Literally every time I see one I want to hug it and wear it around my neck since it’s so chic, or as my suitemate Emily would say, “So rich.” She’s from St. Louis, so we’ll give her a break on that one. Just look… they’re so diva and so chic. Ugh, the Italians are so cool. And skinny. Like how? Pizza and pasta all the time? Rude.
Ever since I travelled to London after my sophomore year in high school I became obsessed with the simplest and oldest accessory possible: bows. Added on a tied piece of string and you look effortlessly classier. Unless you’re super emo/punk and wear red and white and black bows from Hot Topic. (If you are one of these people, please stop reading my blog.)
Bows can make you look instantly chic whether they’re the main part of your outfit, or a small accessory. I love bows on shoes, belts, bracelets, clothing – really as any part of an outfit. The best part? Even the trashiest, smelliest, grungiest, dirtiest chick can look clean and fresh in a bow. Love it.
I found this on Pinterest and instantly fell in love with this bowkini. Where can I get this? I need it now – Spring Break is so soon! Not sure about the diaper bottom though… Can you say Depends? Or muffin top? I’ll definitely take the top though. Good for us flatter girls (not fatter, flatter).
My obsession with bows has become so out of control that literally anything I find I try to get my hands on. My mom and sister (hi) found this Ted Baker bracelet for me and knew it’d be perfect. So British. So chic. And the black and gold, so diva.
If you’re not feeling bold enough to wear a bow in your hair, definitely move towards the shoe realm. I have these Dolce Vita shoes in black and even though they’re tall, I love the look. If you can, buy them in blush – much sweeter and less harsh than black.
I can’t get enough and can continue pasting pictures of bows in here, but it will never end and I need to start work already. And I can make a laundry list of every bow I ever bought but, no. Instead I’ll leave you with one last one. To tie in both the diva and chic you need to survive in my world, just pull a Gaga and make a bow out of your own hair. Sick.
That’s all for now. Come back soon. Toodles. Cheerio. British.